This summer Madison had a low before an evening swim and then during. We got home about 9pm and she checked her blood sugar. It was about 90. I have since learned that 90 is too low to go to bed with but at the time I though it would be ok. I was in my room while my kids were doing the various things to get ready for bed and my son came in and said "mom, there is a spider on your ceiling." I looked up and sure enough there was a spider about the size of a pea. As I went to kill it he said "mom, there is another one." As I looked around I realized that there were about 20 spiders on my ceiling! Very disturbing indeed.
I went around trying to kill each one and wondered at the same time where in the world they had all come from. They were all the exact same and I figured that an egg had hatched somewhere. I couldn't locate a web anywhere and ultimately decided to take our can of raid and spray around the windows because that is where I find most spider webs. As you can imagine, the smell was overwhelming. My husband was out of town (of course) and my bedroom was a mess (of course) and there was no way I was sleeping in my now fumigated room. I looked downstairs and saw that all the cushions were off the couches, my son's mattress had made it's way down the stairs at some point during the day and sat propped up like a slide on one of the couches. So the couches were out, both my boys were already going to have to share a bed (no way I was lugging that mattress up the stairs at this point), I didn't know where I was going to sleep. Madison, being the extremely nice daughter that she is said she would sleep with Bridgett and I could have her bed. Ok, sounds like a plan.
9:30ish - everyone is asleep in bed except me. 10ish, I close my laptop and fall asleep. 10:30 - Madison suddenly stands up on the bed and starts feeling around on the wall. Because I'm 3 feet from her, I too wake up. "Madison, what's going on? Are you ok? What are you doing? Do you need me to check your blood sugar?" She mumbles something about "this place" and lays back down and is sound asleep. I get up and check her blood - 42. I give her 2 juices and lay back down and think how grateful I am that I had a host of spiders in my room that night. Had I not been in her room, I would not have woken up when she stood up. She remembers nothing so she didn't actually wake up. Honestly, I most likely would have checked her in the night but at that point she probably would have been low for about 3 hours. She doesn't have a CGM so no alarm would have sounded. And if for some reason I hadn't checked on her (I have gone to bed in the past fully planning on checking her in the night and ended up not because my phone was on silent and so I didn't hear the alarm) I don't know that she would have woken up in the morning. It's scary to think what an untreated low blood sugar would have lead to.
There are so many potentially scary moments with diabetes. For the most part, nothing scary happens but as a mom it is always on my mind. I watch her doing her swim team races and plan out in my mind what I would do if she suddenly stopped in the middle of the race. Would I immediately jump in or would I try calling to her first? Does she know that it's ok to stop in the middle of the race if she starts to feel low? Madison doesn't like to make waves, she's a people pleaser and doesn't like to get in trouble. I worry that she won't speak up for herself or she'll try to "tough it out". In the end, I can only hope and pray that spiders will be sent to my room and that she'll ultimately be watched over and protected.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012
Family Reunion
Written by Madison
From June 30th to July 5th I was at a family reunion in a cabin with my family. It was hard sometimes but I got over it. For example we were at a parade and my aunt was in charge of afternoon snack and bought donut holes and of course I coudn't have them. BUMMER!!!
I learned that having diabetes at a reunion with lots of meals and food isn't the easiest thing in the world. First of all, counting the carbs. We were lucky we knew about how much was in everything (I forgot Calorie King). Second, waiting. I have to wait 15 minutes before eating. It's not that easy when a whole family needs to eat when the food is ready. Finally, keeping my blood sugar within the right range. Again, it's not that easy especially without Calorie King because we don't know exactly how many carbs. Not knowing exactly how many carbs and not being able to wait first before eating and having some extra treats made it hard to keep it in the right range.
From June 30th to July 5th I was at a family reunion in a cabin with my family. It was hard sometimes but I got over it. For example we were at a parade and my aunt was in charge of afternoon snack and bought donut holes and of course I coudn't have them. BUMMER!!!
I learned that having diabetes at a reunion with lots of meals and food isn't the easiest thing in the world. First of all, counting the carbs. We were lucky we knew about how much was in everything (I forgot Calorie King). Second, waiting. I have to wait 15 minutes before eating. It's not that easy when a whole family needs to eat when the food is ready. Finally, keeping my blood sugar within the right range. Again, it's not that easy especially without Calorie King because we don't know exactly how many carbs. Not knowing exactly how many carbs and not being able to wait first before eating and having some extra treats made it hard to keep it in the right range.
Guilt
Written by Mom
Madison had her 2nd 3 month appointment with the endocrinologist. Her A1C wasn't great but wasn't too bad. At one point I was talking with the nutritionist explaining that I try to find a balance of having it be a big deal but not so big of a deal that it becomes her entire life. I started crying. I'm not even sure why and although I shouldn't have been I was embarrassed. I didn't go in feeling overburdened or stressed or emotional and yet there it came.
As a family we have always had a one treat a day rule. Since she was about 3 Madison has followed that rule. Now I read blogs of other parents and it seems that everyone is on the same page as far as kids being able to eat whatever they want, however, they always seem to say that it should only be occasionally that they have a treat. I struggle with wondering if my one treat a day (which if most people tried, they would realize is actually quite limiting) is now too much sugar. As much as I don't want her to think that diabetes is her entire life, I also want her to keep her blood sugars at normal levels. It's a hard balance. I'm finding that having someone with Diabetes adds a lot of guilt onto an already guilt ridden parent.
As for the gluten thing, I feel like we have a pretty good handle on that. When she was first diagnosed I thought it would be a nightmare but overall it really isn't too hard. It is a pain when you're out and about but as far as being at home goes, it's not bad. A lot of foods are naturally gluten free and oddly enough Madison never was a bread lover. She didn't like pizza, preferred grilled chicken to breaded chicken, liked "sandwiches" without the bread (meat and cheese in a bag), and wasn't keen on usual kid's favorites like corn dogs, goldfish, crackers in general, cheese crisps, mac and cheese, etc. Although these things didn't make her sick I think her body knew. Either that or it was just a tender mercy that she didn't prefer these things. I have adopted gluten free eating myself and find that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything even though I am a bread lover. There are enough other things that I can still eat that I don't miss it.
I often wonder how long she had had celiac before being diagnosed. She didn't show any signs of it. I also wonder often if we had known about the celiac and stopped eating gluten if we could have avoided the diabetes. It doesn't help to wonder but I still do.
Eventually, hopefully, we'll get a better handle on the Diabetes but for now we'll try to let it not consume her life. It just doesn't make sense to have a 10 year old worry constantly that she's not keeping tight control of her sugars especially when we are trying very hard to but her body is still highly unpredictable. Is it like this for all newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetics? They call this the "honeymoon" but nothing about it has felt like a honeymoon.
Madison had her 2nd 3 month appointment with the endocrinologist. Her A1C wasn't great but wasn't too bad. At one point I was talking with the nutritionist explaining that I try to find a balance of having it be a big deal but not so big of a deal that it becomes her entire life. I started crying. I'm not even sure why and although I shouldn't have been I was embarrassed. I didn't go in feeling overburdened or stressed or emotional and yet there it came.
As a family we have always had a one treat a day rule. Since she was about 3 Madison has followed that rule. Now I read blogs of other parents and it seems that everyone is on the same page as far as kids being able to eat whatever they want, however, they always seem to say that it should only be occasionally that they have a treat. I struggle with wondering if my one treat a day (which if most people tried, they would realize is actually quite limiting) is now too much sugar. As much as I don't want her to think that diabetes is her entire life, I also want her to keep her blood sugars at normal levels. It's a hard balance. I'm finding that having someone with Diabetes adds a lot of guilt onto an already guilt ridden parent.
As for the gluten thing, I feel like we have a pretty good handle on that. When she was first diagnosed I thought it would be a nightmare but overall it really isn't too hard. It is a pain when you're out and about but as far as being at home goes, it's not bad. A lot of foods are naturally gluten free and oddly enough Madison never was a bread lover. She didn't like pizza, preferred grilled chicken to breaded chicken, liked "sandwiches" without the bread (meat and cheese in a bag), and wasn't keen on usual kid's favorites like corn dogs, goldfish, crackers in general, cheese crisps, mac and cheese, etc. Although these things didn't make her sick I think her body knew. Either that or it was just a tender mercy that she didn't prefer these things. I have adopted gluten free eating myself and find that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything even though I am a bread lover. There are enough other things that I can still eat that I don't miss it.
I often wonder how long she had had celiac before being diagnosed. She didn't show any signs of it. I also wonder often if we had known about the celiac and stopped eating gluten if we could have avoided the diabetes. It doesn't help to wonder but I still do.
Eventually, hopefully, we'll get a better handle on the Diabetes but for now we'll try to let it not consume her life. It just doesn't make sense to have a 10 year old worry constantly that she's not keeping tight control of her sugars especially when we are trying very hard to but her body is still highly unpredictable. Is it like this for all newly diagnosed Type 1 Diabetics? They call this the "honeymoon" but nothing about it has felt like a honeymoon.
One wish
Written by Mom
Conversation in our house the other day. "B" being our 8 year old daughter.
B - Madison if you could have one wish, what would it be?
Madison - Not to have Diabetes and Celiac
B - I knew you would say that! Mom - what would you wish for?
Me - For Madison to not have Diabetes and Celiac
Madison - Why is it hard for you guys for me to have them?
Me - I'm not wishing that so my life would be easier, I'm wishing it because I want your life to be easier. In fact if I was given one wish and they said the only way for that to come true would be if someone else took the diabetes and celiac, I would take them.
Madison - Really?
Me - Really. Any mom would do that.
I think that for the most part, having a kid with Type 1 Diabetes and Celiac is harder then having it yourself. Of course I don't have them so I can't say for sure, but without a doubt I would take them if it meant she (or any of my other kids) wouldn't have to have them. I think anyone who is a mom would readily agree.
Of course in a lot of ways kids are even more adaptable. Having only had Diabetes for 6 mths and Celiac for 5 mths, Madison said the other day that she already couldn't remember what life was like before having them. She'll be fine in the end and everyone has a story, but some days are definitely harder then others.
Sometimes when I'm down I feel like my daughter has been handed a life sentence of extra stress and worry and so have I. And although I know many have it worse, I don't know that that offers much consolation in the end.
Conversation in our house the other day. "B" being our 8 year old daughter.
B - Madison if you could have one wish, what would it be?
Madison - Not to have Diabetes and Celiac
B - I knew you would say that! Mom - what would you wish for?
Me - For Madison to not have Diabetes and Celiac
Madison - Why is it hard for you guys for me to have them?
Me - I'm not wishing that so my life would be easier, I'm wishing it because I want your life to be easier. In fact if I was given one wish and they said the only way for that to come true would be if someone else took the diabetes and celiac, I would take them.
Madison - Really?
Me - Really. Any mom would do that.
I think that for the most part, having a kid with Type 1 Diabetes and Celiac is harder then having it yourself. Of course I don't have them so I can't say for sure, but without a doubt I would take them if it meant she (or any of my other kids) wouldn't have to have them. I think anyone who is a mom would readily agree.
Of course in a lot of ways kids are even more adaptable. Having only had Diabetes for 6 mths and Celiac for 5 mths, Madison said the other day that she already couldn't remember what life was like before having them. She'll be fine in the end and everyone has a story, but some days are definitely harder then others.
Sometimes when I'm down I feel like my daughter has been handed a life sentence of extra stress and worry and so have I. And although I know many have it worse, I don't know that that offers much consolation in the end.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
How it happened 2
Written by Mom
When Madison came to me stating that she felt she was going to the bathroom a lot, I brushed it off. But then I started paying a little more attention and it turns out she was. In a 4 hour ride home, we had to stop 3 times for her. During a 2 hour long hike, she went 3-5 times. I remember being in the car and her asking for a drink and listening to her chug the water like she hadn't had anything to drink for days. In the back of my mind I remembered my mom saying that if someone was really thirsty and going to the bathroom a lot, that could be a sign of diabetes. But I honestly didn't think that could be what she had. I always thought it had a strong genetic link and no one on either side of the family had Type 1 Diabetes. So I waited. When she started sleeping a lot, I again blew it off thinking she was tired from all the vacationing. I kept looking for a temperature or sign of any kind of pain. Nothing.
Then I sent her to school. She has since said it was the worst day of school she's ever had. "I was so tired, all I wanted to do was sleep and it was so hard to stay awake". I learned later that she was chosen to be "it" in tag and had gone to her teacher in tears asking to please not be "it". Of course now, I feel terrible.
For 5 years every time we did anything medical we were self pay. I delivered 2 babies self pay, 1 cost about $7000 and the other about $10,000. That came straight out of my pocket. Yes, we had insurance but it was just major medical insurance because overall we were a pretty healthy family. If a kid got sick I would take them in and pay the $50 for the visit and we were done. I actually loved not dealing with an insurance company. But because of this, I tended to wait to see how things played out. I'm not a fan of giving kids antibiotics at the first sign of something and so for the most part I would wait a day or two to see if whatever they had would just go away. And many times it did. Still in this mindset, I waited to see if this would all just pass. She just didn't seem sick!
But once she came home from school that Tuesday, I knew something was wrong. One Dr. said he could see her on Thursday and given her symptoms she should be fine. I called another at 4pm on Tuesday and they could see her Wed at 9am. That sounded better. They told me to look for signs of dehydration and if I saw any to take her to the emergency room. She showed no signs at all of that so I figured I would wait but I was worried sick all night. I didn't even sleep because I was worried about her. Looking back now I wish I would have just taken her in but I hardly even knew what we would say. "Well she was going to the bathroom a lot, but not so much anymore (by then the bathroom trips had reduced for some reason) and she seems tired. Other then that, she is just fine." It sounded a little crazy and paranoid in my mind. But by Wednesday morning I was ready for a fight. If the Dr. said nothing was wrong or that she had "the flu", I was going to insist that it wasn't true. She wasn't doing ok by that point. Luckily, the Dr. had us to the hospital within probably 15 mins of being seen. Turns out she was in diabetic ketoacidosis, a life threatening condition. Her blood sugar was high of course but not crazy high however, her acid levels were way off. She slept off and on most of that first day.
When he came in to tell me that she most likely had diabetes I started to cry. I tried not to but I couldn't help it. Poor Madison had no idea why I was upset. She thought the Dr. was joking that we needed to go to the hospital! Once we got to the hospital and checked in, I just cried throughout the day. And wondered over and over how this happened to us. I understood that it was nothing that we did, that they have no idea how people end up with Type 1 but it had just kind of fallen from the sky out of no where. Of all the things I had worried about for my kids, this one never crossed my mind.
I kept feeling very foolish for crying so much realizing that there are much worse things that could happen but then one of the Dr.'s came in and I mentioned that I was overly emotional. She teared up and stated that every time she gets a kid with a new diagnosis of Type 1 that she gets emotional about it. I'll never forget how much that validated my feelings and helped me realize that it was a big deal and it was ok to be upset.
It was going to be a long road
When Madison came to me stating that she felt she was going to the bathroom a lot, I brushed it off. But then I started paying a little more attention and it turns out she was. In a 4 hour ride home, we had to stop 3 times for her. During a 2 hour long hike, she went 3-5 times. I remember being in the car and her asking for a drink and listening to her chug the water like she hadn't had anything to drink for days. In the back of my mind I remembered my mom saying that if someone was really thirsty and going to the bathroom a lot, that could be a sign of diabetes. But I honestly didn't think that could be what she had. I always thought it had a strong genetic link and no one on either side of the family had Type 1 Diabetes. So I waited. When she started sleeping a lot, I again blew it off thinking she was tired from all the vacationing. I kept looking for a temperature or sign of any kind of pain. Nothing.
Then I sent her to school. She has since said it was the worst day of school she's ever had. "I was so tired, all I wanted to do was sleep and it was so hard to stay awake". I learned later that she was chosen to be "it" in tag and had gone to her teacher in tears asking to please not be "it". Of course now, I feel terrible.
For 5 years every time we did anything medical we were self pay. I delivered 2 babies self pay, 1 cost about $7000 and the other about $10,000. That came straight out of my pocket. Yes, we had insurance but it was just major medical insurance because overall we were a pretty healthy family. If a kid got sick I would take them in and pay the $50 for the visit and we were done. I actually loved not dealing with an insurance company. But because of this, I tended to wait to see how things played out. I'm not a fan of giving kids antibiotics at the first sign of something and so for the most part I would wait a day or two to see if whatever they had would just go away. And many times it did. Still in this mindset, I waited to see if this would all just pass. She just didn't seem sick!
But once she came home from school that Tuesday, I knew something was wrong. One Dr. said he could see her on Thursday and given her symptoms she should be fine. I called another at 4pm on Tuesday and they could see her Wed at 9am. That sounded better. They told me to look for signs of dehydration and if I saw any to take her to the emergency room. She showed no signs at all of that so I figured I would wait but I was worried sick all night. I didn't even sleep because I was worried about her. Looking back now I wish I would have just taken her in but I hardly even knew what we would say. "Well she was going to the bathroom a lot, but not so much anymore (by then the bathroom trips had reduced for some reason) and she seems tired. Other then that, she is just fine." It sounded a little crazy and paranoid in my mind. But by Wednesday morning I was ready for a fight. If the Dr. said nothing was wrong or that she had "the flu", I was going to insist that it wasn't true. She wasn't doing ok by that point. Luckily, the Dr. had us to the hospital within probably 15 mins of being seen. Turns out she was in diabetic ketoacidosis, a life threatening condition. Her blood sugar was high of course but not crazy high however, her acid levels were way off. She slept off and on most of that first day.
When he came in to tell me that she most likely had diabetes I started to cry. I tried not to but I couldn't help it. Poor Madison had no idea why I was upset. She thought the Dr. was joking that we needed to go to the hospital! Once we got to the hospital and checked in, I just cried throughout the day. And wondered over and over how this happened to us. I understood that it was nothing that we did, that they have no idea how people end up with Type 1 but it had just kind of fallen from the sky out of no where. Of all the things I had worried about for my kids, this one never crossed my mind.
I kept feeling very foolish for crying so much realizing that there are much worse things that could happen but then one of the Dr.'s came in and I mentioned that I was overly emotional. She teared up and stated that every time she gets a kid with a new diagnosis of Type 1 that she gets emotional about it. I'll never forget how much that validated my feelings and helped me realize that it was a big deal and it was ok to be upset.
It was going to be a long road
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
How it happened
Written by Madison
Over Christmas break I noticed that I would wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom alot. I talked to my mom about it but she didn't think it was weird because my aunt went to the bathroom in the night too. I started drinking alot but I couldn't quench my thirst and my throat was always dry. A little before we went back to school we went hiking with our cousins I was really tired and stayed behind with my mom, brother, uncle, and two of my cousins. A few days later I went to school but couldn't concentrate and wanted to fall asleep. When I got home I immediately fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to the smell of dinner, I remember only eating a little of my soup and not wanting to eat anymore, but my mom thinks I did eat it. The next day I felt very weak and it was hard to get out of bed I didn't go to school so my mom took me to the docter. They did a test and he told us that I probaly had diabetes .He told my mom that she should take me to the hospital immediately. I thought he was joking but turns out he wasn't so my mom took me.
Over Christmas break I noticed that I would wake up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom alot. I talked to my mom about it but she didn't think it was weird because my aunt went to the bathroom in the night too. I started drinking alot but I couldn't quench my thirst and my throat was always dry. A little before we went back to school we went hiking with our cousins I was really tired and stayed behind with my mom, brother, uncle, and two of my cousins. A few days later I went to school but couldn't concentrate and wanted to fall asleep. When I got home I immediately fell asleep on the couch. I woke up to the smell of dinner, I remember only eating a little of my soup and not wanting to eat anymore, but my mom thinks I did eat it. The next day I felt very weak and it was hard to get out of bed I didn't go to school so my mom took me to the docter. They did a test and he told us that I probaly had diabetes .He told my mom that she should take me to the hospital immediately. I thought he was joking but turns out he wasn't so my mom took me.
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